Trials
by Obi the Kid
Summary: PreTPM. Nonslash. When Taash is wounded on his first mission with his apprentice Ryin, how will Ryin deal with the immediate after affects of the incident. Also starring QuiGon and ObiWan.


TITLE: Trials

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid PG

SUMMARY: Pre-TPM. Non-slash. When Taash is wounded on his first mission with his apprentice (Ryin), how will Ryin deal with the immediate after affects of the incident. (Also starring Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.)

FEEDBACK: Yes, please.

ARCHIVE: Ask me first.

MY WEBSITEhttp/ The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

Trials

"Well done, Ryin. You handled that very nicely. You were aware and conscious of all that was going on around you. You might have prevented many innocent people from getting hurt by spotting that man with the blaster hidden in his coat. We don't know if he was intent on using it, but it was obvious that he was very upset and angry with the way the political meetings were being conducted. You were careful and quiet in your actions, enabling security to get a handle on things before it escalated into more than it was." Master Taash Evram complimented his apprentice while the boy beamed a smile towards him.

"Thank you, Master. I know you told me to just observe, but…"

"You did well. I'm very proud of you. This is your first mission and we are only a day into it. Already you are showing your strengths."

Ryin Cyr, padawan to Taash Evram for just over two months finally looked away from his master. His smile fading a bit as he blushed at the continued praise.

"The meetings are over for the day, how about you and I take a walk around town. Have some dinner."

"That would be great, Master." More than anything, Ryin loved to explore places he'd never been exposed to before. And this being his first mission, he was excited about seeing more of the planet than just the drab rooms where the all-day meetings had just wrapped up.

Taash knew of his padawan's eagerness to see and learn about different cultures. It seems that being cooped up within the walls of the temple for so many years didn't agree much with the ginger-haired boy. He didn't crave the adventure as many Jedi students his age did, but he did crave learning and knowledge. If there was something new out there, Ryin was determined to study it with all of his senses.

The more Taash though about it, the more he realized this was one of the reasons that the Force had drawn them together. He too had an unwavering thirst for knowledge.

"Come along then, Padawan. Time for us to explore."

They had a good dinner and then were off to roam the city. One of the small shops they stopped in was a seller of unique gifts. Ryin thought this was the perfect opportunity to pick up something for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. He'd always loved the act of gift giving even when there was no cause for it. And he had special reason and need to thank the two Jedi for not only helping him during his first months as an apprentice, but also for being such good friends to his master. Even during Ryin and Taash's short time together, it didn't take long for the young boy to notice that there were times when his master became very lonely, as memories of his deceased teacher, Master Kem Tovaar filtered through his mind. The padawan knew how important it was to develop and maintain close friendships. And he knew it was especially important where Taash was concerned. A Jedi who, although well liked, had few friends that he could truly rely on and trust completely. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were two people that Taash needed, and Ryin could easily see how vital that was to his master, even during the times when Taash just wanted to be left to himself to deal with his loneliness.

The gifts he would choose, had to be perfect.

Items from all over the galaxy lined the glass shelves. Careful but curious, Ryin examined anything he could until he found the perfect gift for both of his friends back on Coruscant. A small stone glistened shades of emerald and black. Ryin held it in his hands and then against the artificial lighting of the store. The green turned to a brilliant ocean blue that seemed to come alive as it was touched by the light. The young Jedi grinned.

"Isn't it beautiful, Master? The clashing colors?"

"It is beautiful. And would make a wonderful gift."

Ryin nodded, withdrew credits from his pocket and proceeded to purchase two of the unique stones. "Obi-Wan told me all about the rock that his master gave him on this thirteenth birthday," the boy began as they exited the store and strolled along the long shopping strip. "He said how, when Master Qui-Gon first gave it to him, he had been disappointed. He didn't understand the meaning behind it. And now, it's his most important possession."

"It took him a while, but he did eventually understand the depth of thought that Qui-Gon put into choosing that gift for him. There is a lesson in everything Qui-Gon does. Keep

that in mind. Even when it seems that he's not teaching…he is. And now, Obi-Wan will

have another stone to place alongside."

"Do you think he and Master Qui-Gon will like these?"

"I do. The beauty of the stones show the thought that you put into choosing them."

Another smile crossed the young, tanned face and Ryin tucked the small bag into his belt patch to keep his treasure safe. Then he and his teacher continued on their evening exploration of the capital city of Kellon, on the planet of the same name.

The evening was late and Taash was tired. Ryin, who seemed to have a never-ending supply of energy when it came to learning about new places, had worn his master out. That and the thought of a second round of marathon meetings tomorrow gave Taash reason to call it a night.

"I am beat, Ryin. Let's go back to the hotel. We can do this again before the week is out. We both need our rest for the next series of meetings."

Disappointed, but refusing to show it, the boy came into step next to Taash and the team headed back towards the hotel where they had been offered residence during their mission.

Not far behind them, a dark shadow lurked and followed. As it had been since they'd left the meetings with the city's leaders hours before. The shadow was waiting for just the right moment. It had to be perfect. The attack. The escape. Revenge played on the mind.

It…he…had wandered from planet to planet, always with an eye on the Jedi ambassadors there. The last time, on Larus II, he'd merged himself into part of a renegade group of fighters for a short time. Together the small band had ambushed a Jedi team as they boarded their transport for Coruscant. He'd been aiming and hoping to hit the older of the pair. Jinn, he would find out later to be his name. But the younger one, his apprentice had taken it upon himself to play hero and step in front of his master. Blaster shots ripping through the soft flesh of the student before they were able to escape onto their ship. That one had lived.

In the year previous, he'd wounded three others. And was responsible for the death of two more. Each attack was planned to appear random. Each time a different type of weapon was used. Since it was not unusual for Jedi to be targets on missions, they had not begun to link these attacks together.

An eerie smile crawled across the man's hard face. Today, he'd found his next target.

Taash and Ryin approached the hotel. The boy stopped suddenly and put a hand to his head. "Master…"

"Ryin, what's wrong?" Immediately Taash was kneeling in front of him, a hand resting on his arm.

"I…felt something. I don't know…" He shook his head to clear his mind. "No, it's okay. I'm okay. Just an odd feeling. A dark feeling."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Master. It's…I'm fine. It's gone now."

Taash stood and placed a hand on Ryin's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Never ignore your feelings, Padawan. If you felt something, there must be a reason for it."

"I should try to meditate."

"Excellent idea. Let's get to our room, and we will meditate together. See if we can't pinpoint the reason for your odd feeling."

They began towards the hotel once more.

He waited in the shadows of the dimly lit side of the street. Parked speeders providing all the cover he would need to target the Jedi, fire and escape.

Gun raised, he welcomed the Jedi into his sights. Squeezed his finger and began to fire off round after round. His manic laugh lost in the echoes of the weapons howl.

Ryin was several steps ahead of his master when he heard the first shot. The next thing he saw was Taash screaming out in pain and collapsing to the ground.

As time began to progress in slow motion, Ryin couldn't move. The bang of the gun had ceased as had the sinister laughter he'd thought he'd heard. He tried to move to his master, but the sudden shock of what had just happened was preventing that. He stared numbly at the bloodied body of Taash Evram only a few feet from him.

And he stayed that way for what seemed like an eternity. In actuality, it was only seconds that he stood frozen. Several screams from other pedestrians brought him back to real time and Ryin was quickly at his master's side.

Taash lay on his side. Short, shallow breaths alternated with whimpers of pain. Ryin could see the blood coming from several wounds. They were not blaster wounds. They were small holes present where sharp metal objects had embedded themselves into the body. Most of the objects had sunken into the Jedi's shoulder and chest, while two of them had grazed his head. The wounds were serious and Ryin began fearing the worst when Taash didn't respond to his questions.

"Master? Master Taash? Can you hear me? Please answer me, Master."

Taash's eyes were closed and he was only partially conscious. He could not respond to the pleas of his apprentice.

"Master, please."

Others who'd been on the street saw the stricken man and were rushing to his aid. One of them touched Ryin on the shoulder. "I'll call for a doctor."

Ryin nodded as he knelt down next to Taash. He was afraid to move him. Afraid to touch him. Then from the back of his mind came their conversation of a few moments ago. The odd feeling that had come over him. The Force had been trying to tell him that something evil was closing in. Why hadn't he listened? Why had he just shaken it off? Both Taash and Qui-Gon has taught him to never ignore flashes from the Force, no matter how trivial or insignificant they might seem.

A sick feeling began in the pit of his stomach. It rolled around until it almost made him ill. If he had listened to the Force, just listened…this would not have happened.

His first mission and he may have killed his master. His breathing came rapidly as he tried to quell the feeling of dread and failure that was rising like bile in his throat. This was his fault. That line kept repeating in his mind. His fault. Over and over again until he'd become immune to anything going on around him. His fault. Pale blue eyes opened and closed as he the feelings overwhelmed him. He felt faint. Tired. This was his fault…

"Hey, Jedi!"

The sharp voice roused him from his daze and once again he was back to himself.

"Hey, kid. The rescue squad is here. Come on, you need to move and let them help your friend."

Ryin stood slowly, watching every move the paramedics made as they worked to help his master. Then something clicked inside of him and there was a realization that others might have also been wounded during the assault. For a few moments, his Jedi training took control.

"Did…did anyone else get hurt?"

Someone standing next to him replied. "Two others. But they'll be okay. Just minor. Seems like he," a hand motioned toward Taash, "was the prime target."

"Did anyone see anything? Who did this?"

"I don't think so. But the police are already here and working." The man looked down and saw that Ryin was shaking and wringing his hands together. "Hey, you okay?"

The boy didn't look up. "Yes. No. I don't…yes, I'm fine."

Not convinced by the uncertain words, the man patted Ryin on the shoulder. "We have excellent doctors here. He'll get good care. Don't worry."

But the only reply was a brief nod and a silent tear that slipped down the young Jedi's face.

He became lost in his thoughts as he accompanied his master and the paramedics into the ambulance and towards the hospital. Taash was now unconscious as Ryin stared blankly at him. Pain and guilt began their assault as his mind floated with the realization of what had just happened closing in.

The paramedic grabbed his arm to draw him back. "What's his name?"

Ryin looked up. Confused. "Huh?"

"His name. What's your friends name?"

"He's my teacher. My master. Taash. Taash Evram."

"Does he have any allergies that you are aware of?"

The boy had no idea. They'd never talked about what would happen if one of them became seriously injured. What allergies or what reactions each of them might have to certain treatment. It hadn't been a priority in the short time they'd been together, secure within the protected walls of the Jedi Temple. "I…I don't know. He never mentioned any allergies, but I don't know."

The paramedic watched the sadness in the young face. He knew of the Jedi. Knew some of their abilities and their ways, but he'd never met one before. Never seen one so young. And he marveled at the intense effort the boy was putting into keeping his emotions so controlled. His heart went out to the apprentice and he did what he could to comfort him while they sped their way to the hospital.

"My name is Eryk. What's yours?"

Ryin seemed oblivious to the continuing conversation as he watched the two men work on Taash. He was paying little attention to anything around him.

"You have a name, don't you?"

"Oh, um…" he shook his head and blinked his eyes. "I'm sorry. What did you say?"

Despite the circumstances, Eryk remained patient. It has always been one of his greatest traits. It would work to his advantage as he dealt with the young Jedi. "My name is Eryk. You are?"

"Ryin Cyr."

"And you are his apprentice, I assume since you told me he was your teacher. Correct?"

Ryin nodded.

"He'll get good care here, Ryin. I promise you. Is there someone that you need to contact about what has happened?"

Another thing he hadn't thought about. The temple should be informed immediately about this. Other Jedi needed to be sent to continue the negotiations and complete the mission.

The meetings for tomorrow. He would need to talk to someone…anyone. There were so many things that he needed to do. So many things that he was so unsure of. And still he needed to stay with his master. He couldn't leave him…just in case.

"I need to call Coruscant…the Jedi Temple. And the meetings for the rest of the week… And a healer… I need to have a Jedi healer come here. I think…I do. I'm not sure. Master…I'm sorry." He leaned towards Taash and took a firm hold of his hand. "I'm sorry, Master. This is all my fault. If I had only listened to what the Force was trying to tell me, none of this would have happened. I need you, Master. I don't know what to do. Please…tell me what I have to do."

Eryk moved from Taash's head to inch closer to the younger Jedi. "I'll help you, Ryin. I'll see that you are able to get in touch with anyone that you need to."

For the first time, Ryin made eye contact with the paramedic. Eryk was human, as was more than half the population on Kellon. His brown skin was offset by his jet-black hair that was cut short, in almost a padawan style. Eyes shone bright green and were kind and comforting. He felt he could trust this man.

"This is my first mission. It was supposed to be a simple negotiation mission. This wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not ready…I wasn't ready. I should have been able to prevent this."

"How old are you?"

"Ten. But that's not an excuse. Many Jedi my age have performed perfectly on missions before. Many haven't failed their masters and gotten them killed on their first missions."

"First of all, Ryin, you did not kill your master. He is alive and we will do everything in our power to make sure he stays that way. Second, I don't care how old or experienced you are, things like this happen. There is evil everywhere. You can't blame yourself for this."

There was no response. Ryin was lost again in thought and Eryk figured it best to just let the boy have his quiet right now.

At the hospital, Taash was rushed into surgery while Ryin was left alone in the large waiting area. The room was busy and loud. Over twenty others waited for results or were waiting to be seen by the emergency staff. The boy's hands and tunic were splattered with blood as he found a spot in the corner of the room that wasn't so crowded. There he sat in a small metal chair and concentrated on taking deep breaths. He heart raced and the ill feeling in his stomach returned. The unreal events of the past hour had begun to take their toll on his emotional state, so when Eryk came looking for him shortly after, he found him with tears floating in bloodshot eyes. A small cushion clutched to his chest as he fought bravely to not give in completely.

Eryk knelt next to the chair. "Hi."

Ryin refused to meet his eyes as he returned the greeting in a weak and shaky voice. "Hi."

"I've made my last run for the day. I wanted to see what I could do to help you before I went home for the evening. I know you need to contact some people."

The boy nodded again.

"The doctors will tell you as soon as your master is out of surgery. He took fire from a shard gun. It will take them a while to remove the pieces of metal from his body and to make sure the wounds are clear of any small shrapnel pieces. It could be several hours."

Tears overflowed Ryin's pale blue eyes and his deep breaths came quicker. Control was being lost.

Eryk allowed him several minutes to get himself together before encouraging him to stand. "I'll take you to the communications room where you can place any calls that you need to. Do you know the name of the person you should talk to regarding your mission here?"

"The mayor. Mayor Sylar."

"Okay. Come on. Let's get this taken care of so when your master comes out of surgery, you can be there with him."

He put a gentle hand on the young Jedi's shoulder and led him towards the communications office.

The council was shocked to hear of the news of the shooting, and before Ryin had ended his call, they were already working to get another Jedi team to Kellon to continue the negotiations. Also flying with the pair would be Master Healer Terran Va'lor to accompany Ryin and Taash home. In addition, six Jedi would also be dispatched to investigate and act as security for the negotiation team.

Ryin's second call was to Mayor Sylar to inform him of what had taken place. He was advised by the boy that a member of the Jedi Council would be contacting him shortly with further information. The mayor was understanding and expressed his condolences to Ryin about his master, and also asked that he be updated on Taash's condition when possible.

Sitting next to Ryin, Eryk asked, "Is that everyone?"

He thought for a moment. As grateful as he was for the paramedic's presence, Ryin desperately needed to talk to someone else. Someone who he was closer to. A familiar voice. "Can I call a friend of mine?"

Without question, Eryk nodded. "Sure can. That might be the best thing for you right now."

The call went through and Ryin punched in the code for his friend's apartment on Coruscant. A few minutes later, a groggy voice sounded on the other end.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Obi-Wan…"

Immediately, Obi-Wan knew something was wrong. The tone of Ryin's voice was all he needed to hear. He was up and sitting on the edge of his bed in seconds.

"Ryin? What's wrong? Aren't you on Kellon?"

"Yes. Master Taash was shot. I'm at the hospital with one of the paramedics. My master is…they have him in surgery."

"Will he be okay?"

"I don't know. He was shot several times, there was blood everywhere and he couldn't breathe very well, and…. I felt something before it happened. The Force tried to tell me something, but I ignored it. Why did I do that?" The words rushed out. "It was telling me that something bad was about to happen and I didn't do anything about it. Obi-Wan, why didn't I listen to it? This happened to Master Taash because of me. I had the chance…"

Obi-Wan knew he had to get Ryin calmed down. He quickly walked to the vid-com unit in the common area of he and Qui-Gon's quarters and punched Ryin's com code in so he could see his face. Just as Obi-Wan expected, the younger padawan was panicked and flushed. "Ryin, you need to calm down. I know this is hard for you, but you need to focus."

"Obi-Wan…"

"I know, Ryin. I've been through this experience before. It's not easy. Remember the deep relaxation exercises that you've been learning since you were an initiate?"

"Yes."

"Good, after we talk, I want you to find a quiet spot and practice them."

"But…Master Taash, what if…"

"He's strong, Ryin."

"That doesn't make me feel better, Obi-Wan."

"I know it doesn't. I don't know what to say right now. It's difficult from where I am."

"I'm sorry. I know this is my fault. My stomach is sick. My head hurts. Master Taash might die because of me. My first mission and I fail miserably. How many other padawans can say that they killed their master on their first mission?"

"Ryin, stop. The more you abuse yourself, the worse this will make you feel. You need to focus. Focus on you. Focus on Taash. He will need your strength. He needs to know that you are there. That you haven't given up on him."

"I'm confused, Obi-Wan. I don't think I'm doing all the right things."

"Did you call the council? And your mission contact person?"

"Yes."

"Then you're doing well, Ryin. Those were the two things that you needed to do. Now, you just stay at the hospital and be with Taash. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Tears slipped again from the boy's pale eyes. They glistened on his cheeks as his image continued to flash onto Obi-Wan's vid-com. "Tell me that he'll be okay."

Obi-Wan hung his head and took in a long and steadying breath. "Ryin, more than anything in the universe, I want him to be okay. I wish I could tell you that everything will work out, but…I just don't know…"

Ryin nodded. "Can I call you again?"

"You call me any time you need to. No matter what time of the day or night."

"Okay. Thank you, Obi-Wan."

"Let me know as soon as you can about Taash. And I mean it. If you need me, you call me."

"I will. I have to go now. Bye, Obi-Wan."

"Goodbye, Ryin."

Eryk escorted Ryin back to the waiting room, which had emptied somewhat and was now quieter. "Do you need some company while you wait?"

Ryin only shrugged.

"Maybe you should do those exercises that your friend talked about. It might help you relax and help the time pass quicker."

"I should. But I don't know if I can."

"I'll be glad to sit with you for a while. It might be easier than being alone right now." Eryk had no idea why he was going above and beyond the call of duty for this one. It was true that he did care about those that he tried so hard to help, but it was unusual for him to go this far. There was something that drew him to Ryin. Something told him to stay and help the boy as much as he could.

"That might help. Thank you."

Back on Coruscant, Obi-Wan had roused Qui-Gon from sleep to inform him of the news.

"How was Ryin?" Qui-Gon asked in concern.

"On the edge of losing it, I'd say. He looked awful. I guess there's a paramedic who's been there with him, so at least he's not completely alone. I spoke with Healer Terran just a minute ago. He said he's being dispatched with Master Yao and his apprentice, Jarin, to Kellon. Master Yao will be taking over the mission negotiations. Terran will be flying back with Taash and Ryin. That's good. Ryin is close friends with Jarin and is comfortable with Terran. He'll need to see some familiar faces. And Kellon is only a day's travel from here. They'll be there by this time tomorrow."

"But no news on Taash's condition."

"Still in surgery. I asked Ryin to let keep us posted, but if we don't hear from him, I won't be surprised. He's really lost right now, Master. He's so young to have to deal with something like this. I wish I could be there for him."

Qui-Gon put a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "As do I. We can only wait and hope that the Force has chosen not to take Taash before his time." The pair exchanged sorrowful glances and then settled down next to each other on the floor to meditate.

Ryin had given up on attempting any further relaxation or meditation exercises and had taken instead to pacing the floor as the hours ticked by. Four hours had passed since Taash had been brought in and there was still no word on his condition. It was late now. The waiting room was almost deserted. The quiet only made things worse. It allowed Ryin's thoughts to run wild. To fear the worst. His master's death. Going in front of the council and explaining to them how this was his fault. How he could have prevented this if only he'd listened to his training and listened to the Force. Then Taash's funeral. Seeing the pain on the faces of his master's closest friends. And watching them turn their eyes to him. Not in sorrow, but in blame. They all knew it was his fault that Taash was dead. They all…

"Ryin…Ryin!" Eryk was shaking him gently.

"Hmmm? What?" The boy tried to shake himself out of the thoughts that were dragging him down.

"I just spoke with the doctor. Your master is out of surgery."

"Is he okay?" He asked anxiously.

"The doctor said he'd be out shortly to speak with you. But I guess there are plans for a second surgery. They weren't able to get all the shrapnel out but they didn't want to keep him under any longer."

Ryin's face fell flat and Eryk directed him over to the couch.

"Sit down. Let's wait for the doctor. See what else we can find out."

They waited another fifteen minutes before the doctor came to see them. He motioned for Ryin to keep his seat and then sat in the chair across from him.

"My name is Dr. Isatas. As I understand it, you are Ryin Cyr, the student of my patient, Taash Evram. Correct?"

The young Jedi nodded quickly. "Yes, sir. How is he?"

"Very critical right now. We've stabilized him, but there is more work that must be done. I've scheduled him for a second surgery."

"Tomorrow?"

"The day after. We need his body to stabilize further, and it would be to dangerous to attempt again so soon."

Ryin was trying to concentrate so he could ask the right questions. But it was so difficult and only one question kept coming up. "Is he going to die?" He bit his lip hard after blurting it out. Scared to death at what the doctor might tell him.

"I honestly don't know, Ryin. He has many internal injuries, all of which we do not know if we can repair fully. Thankfully the shots that grazed his head didn't do much other than causing a concussion. But the other wounds, six in all that hit him in the upper body…it's too early to tell. I'm sorry. I wish I had a better answer for you."

"There is a Jedi Healer on the way." Ryin said as he reached for any hope he could find. "Maybe he can save my master. Maybe he…" The tears began again even as he struggled to stay strong.

Dr. Isatas put a soft hand on the Jedi's knee. "Do you not have anyone here with you?"

"Just my master."

Eryk took a moment to speak. "There are several Jedi on the way here, who are traveling with the Jedi Healer. It'll take them a day's travel, but once here, they can provide him support."

The doctor smiled sadly. "You can see your master if you'd like. He's not awake. But I'll allow you to stay with him for a while."

"Thank you."

"Follow me then."

"Can Eryk come with me? At least for a short time?"

"He can stay for a brief visit, yes."

The apprentice and the paramedic followed Doctor Isatas down a long, sterile hall. At the end, was a set of sliding double doors that led to the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital. Upon entering, Ryin's eyes quickly shot from bed to bed looking for the familiar figure that was Taash Evram. A hand on his arm directed him to the bed near the corner.

"Master…" the boy whispered.

"Please be careful of the tubes and other equipment. There is a stool here if you'd like to sit with him. I'll send the nurse to check on you shortly."

Ryin paid no attention to the man as he left the ICU. His attention was focused solely on the laboring Jedi that lay stricken in the bed. He approached slowly, a lump forming in his throat and the ill feeling again welling in his stomach. A small hand he reached out. It shook as he held it suspended over the immobile hand of his master. Sadness tugged at the corners of his mouth as the last of his emotional restraint began to give way. He glanced across the room to where Eryk stood quietly, then turned back to Taash.

A moment later, Ryin gave in. Sitting on the stool that he'd pulled close to the bed, he grabbed the older Jedi's hand, squeezing it tightly in his own hands. His head fell forward and rested into the small pocket of space between Taash's arm and body.

Then, he cried.

Eryk remained silent. He was lost at what to do for his young companion. Be close and be supportive was all he knew. His eyes closed and he sighed as the heartbreaking scene played out before him. Every few minutes he could hear muffled words from Ryin. He was telling his master how sorry he was that he'd failed. And that he loved him. Eventually, Eryk felt he was intruding too much and he padded gently out of the room. Once outside the ICU, he located Dr. Isatas and convinced him to let Ryin remain with Taash until the other Jedi arrived. It would not be a wise decision to separate the two while the master was in such condition and while the apprentice was emotionally spent.

"I need to get home and get some rest. But if Ryin should ask, I'll be back in a few hours. I'll make sure I bring him something to eat."

"I'll have the nightshift nurse keep an eye on him," the doctor replied as Eryk thanked him and disappeared past the exit door.

Hours crept by. Time served only to numb the young Jedi. His tears had stopped hours ago, but the sick feeling stayed with him. He sat, refusing to let go of Taash's hand. Hoping that his teacher felt his touch and knew he was here with him. Nurses had come and gone during the early morning hours to check vitals on their patient and to make sure that the younger one was okay. Before Ryin knew it, mid-morning was upon them. He'd left Taash's side briefly to stand on the balcony of the waiting room for a few minutes. The hospital air was so stuffy, he needed to clear his lungs. A quick trip to the bathroom followed where he splashed cold water on his face and wiped away the newborn tears that threatened each time he thought about Taash. He wondered about calling Obi-Wan again. A friendly voice would be good. But…it wouldn't change things. It wouldn't help his master. Wouldn't change the feelings of guilt that filled his entire being. So he decided against it as he made his way back to ICU.

Eryk returned early afternoon and encouraged Ryin to eat a small bowl of soup and a half of sandwich. But he was not successful in getting the boy to sleep. Taash's condition coupled with Ryin's chronic insomnia problem prevented that. Stress worked only to worsen the insomnia. Sleeping, however was not foremost on his mind at the moment. And with nothing to do but sit and wait, time slowed even more.

He sat bedside with his elbows resting on the mattress of his master's bed, and his face hidden in his hands. Eyes closed for a few seconds until a voice from behind startled him, causing him to jump slightly. Jedi Healer Terran Va'lor stood within arms length of the bed. At the sight of such a familiar and welcoming face, fresh tears began and Ryin turned, throwing himself into the arms of the healer.

Terran, who'd come to know Ryin quite well in his first months as a padawan, because of his battle with insomnia, wrapped the boy in a warm embrace. He knew all too well what the young Jedi must have been putting himself through during the last twenty-four hours. "It's all right, Ryin."

After a few minutes, Terran held him away and allowed him regain his control. The healer then did a brief once-over of Taash. "Ryin, come on. There are a couple things we need to do. I want to talk in depth with the doctor and to the paramedic who I met outside there. Master Yao is here with me as is his apprentice. I know you and Jarin are good friends. Before they get started tomorrow with continuing the negotiations, I want you to go with them for something to eat. And then, you will rest. Don't argue with me either. I know you haven't slept. I know you probably can't sleep. I can give you something to help that."

"Healer Terran, I have to be awake. What if Master Taash needs me? What if he doesn't make it until tomorrow when they do the second surgery? What…"

"I know how you feel, Ryin. I really do. But you have to look after yourself. You and I are going to have our hands full with things for a while. Until his surgery is done and he's stable enough to travel home. And then with his recovery. I need you healthy. He needs you healthy. Okay?"

Ryin nodded and whispered, "Okay."

They left ICU and entered the waiting room. Master Kieren Yao and Padawan Jarin Laashar stood waiting for him. Eryk was only a few steps behind.

Jarin approached Ryin first. The two were separated in age by only a year and had known each other since they were much younger. Ryin gave a weak smile at the sight of his friend. "Hi, Jarin."

The older boy stood in front of him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"No," Ryin replied as his voice cracked. Then he wiped at his eyes. "I'm sorry."

One of Jarin Laashar's greatest attributes was compassion. Even at such a young age, just his presence alone was often enough to console Ryin when things were difficult. Never did he imagine that he would be in a situation like this, only months into his apprenticeship. But the pain radiating from his friend was too much to ignore. There had to be something he could do to help while the wait continued. The blonde, almost white haired padawan took Ryin's arm and moved him to the couch where they sat together and allowed emotions to flow freely.

Meanwhile, Terran formerly introduced himself to the paramedic who'd been looking after Ryin.

"Thank you for keeping and eye on him. You didn't have to do that, but we are grateful. Eryk, is it?"

Eryk took the healers hand in firm grasp. "Yes. Eryk Karas. I was one of the paramedics who responded to the call about Master Evram. Ryin told me that several Jedi would be here this evening, I thought it best that he not be alone all that time. I know he's a Jedi and trained in certain ways, but he's still a young boy."

"We appreciate all you have done. You've meet Master Kieren Yao?"

Turning to his left, Eryk nodded to the slim, gray-skinned Jedi next to him. "We have met, yes. Would you both like to speak to the doctor now? I can see if he's available."

"Please."

Kieren began to excuse himself. "If you will pardon my departure, I would like to speak with Ryin for a few moments." He moved towards the couch as the healer and the paramedic left to seek out Dr. Isatas.

Taking a seat in the chair next to where the two padawans sat, Kieren addressed Ryin directly. His feline-like yellow eyes turned gently to Ryin. "I'm very sorry about what's happened to your master, Ryin. Can you tell me anything that you might have heard or seen before he was shot?"

"I know this is my fault, Master Kieren. A few minutes before, I felt something in the Force. It was disturbing, but only lasted a few seconds. I told Master Taash about it, and I was going to meditate on the feeling once we were back in our hotel room. But I should have paid more attention to it. The Force was trying to tell me that this was about to happen. That there was evil out there waiting for us. But I didn't listen and now…my master might die because of my mistake."

The fragile emotional shell surrounding Ryin gave way easily now. He was able to hold things in for a short time, but the more he talked about what happened and the more he thought about things, the worse it got. He hated that he was giving in to his feelings so easily. Jedi should have more

self-control. But Ryin no longer had control, and he knew he was failing as a padawan and as a Jedi.

"You've not failed him, Ryin. You were unsure of what you felt. You knew there was a possibility that something bad was out there, but you had now knowledge of what it was or when and where it might occur. Or even if it was directed at you and Taash. You can't punish yourself for what is unknown. Do you understand?"

A short nod as Ryin broke eye contact with the older Jedi. "I guess so. But, still…"

"No. Focus yourself. Because of your grief, your mind is running in circles. You need to calm and focus. Have you meditated recently?"

"No, I haven't been able to."

"Then before Jarin and I leave to meet with the mayor tomorrow and begin a new round of meetings, we will meditate with you. But I need you to tell me, so that I can inform the investigators…anything that you noticed before, during or after the shooting. I know how hard it can be to think about those moments, but even the smallest amount of information may allow us to capture the one who did this."

Ryin sighed heavily as his mind wandered back to the shooting. There was something there…a sound. Someone was laughing while people were dropping to the ground wounded…"I remember a laugh while the shots were being fired. An evil laugh. It sounded male and deeper than a normal voice. It felt like he was enjoying what was happening. What he was doing."

"Good. That's good, Ryin. Anything else?"

"I remember a shadow behind some parked speeders. But everything was so dark. I don't know if it was him or just a person running in fear."

"Did you see his build or height?"

"No. I only saw him for a second and I wasn't paying much attention to that at the time. I'm sorry."

"No reason to be sorry. Any information will be good information. I'll be sure that the Jedi who are investigating are informed. I want you to think again on this later. If you remember anything else, be sure to let me know."

A short time later, Terran and Eryk returned. Ryin was eager to hear what the healer had to say after meeting with the doctor. But there was nothing new to tell. Taash's next surgery would be the following afternoon. Terran would assist the team.

"There's nothing we can do right now. It's late, but we're all hungry and tired. Lets see about finding someplace close by the hospital to eat before we turn in for the evening."

"Can I see Master Taash before we leave? Please?" Ryin almost begged.

"Certainly. Go ahead. We'll wait for you here." The boy hurried off as Terran continued. "Kieren, you will have two local police and two of the Jedi security team accompanying you when you go out anywhere. I know it's an inconvenience, but the council insists."

Ryin took Taash's hand. "Hi, Master. It's me again. Healer Terran is here. Jarin and Master Kieren too. I have to leave you for a little while. They want me to eat and try and get some rest. I won't be able to sleep though, knowing that you are here. Knowing that I might have been able to protect you from getting hurt. I'll be back to see you soon, Master. I promise." He lay his head down gently on Taash's chest for a moment and spoke softly. "I love you."

He was greeted in the waiting room by a comforting arm around his shoulder, as Terran approached him. "He's in good hands here, Ryin. Don't worry. Come on."

"Eryk are you coming with us?"

"No," the paramedic replied. "It looks like you're in safe hands now. I need to get back to my duties. I'll be sure to check in and see how your master is doing though."

"Thank you for staying with me. And for helping Master Taash."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I could help in some way. You be careful out there now. Okay? And next time you are here on Kellon, look me up."

A small smile lit the boy's tanned face for a moment. "I will." On impulse, Ryin moved to his new friend and embraced him. A few moments later, they said their final goodbyes, and Paramedic Eryk Karas left the hospital.

The small group, escorted by a three- person security team, found a diner not far from the hospital. Ryin mostly played with his food, but was encouraged enough by the others to eat part of the meal. Conversation was kept as light as possible. Each of the Jedi doing what they could to help Ryin to feel more positive about the immediate future for his master. One thing was for certain, he was relieved to have a Jedi healer present. Not that he didn't trust the doctors, but he trusted Terran to take every precaution and make sure everything possible was being done for Taash.

"Can we go back to the hospital before going to the hotel?"

The healer looked sadly at the boy. "No, Ryin. You need to get out of there for a while. I'm going to give you something to help you sleep for a few hours. If anything happens, the nurses have our com number."

"Okay." He wanted to challenge the healer on his decision, but there was no energy with which to do so. Exhaustion weighed heavily on his small body. Terran decided they should call it a night. Flanked by their security team, they made their way to the hotel. The crime scene was still marked off and Ryin couldn't help but stare at it as they walked by. His stomach turned and he had a bad feeling that the food he'd just eaten would not be stationary for long.

Master Yao and Padawan Laashar checked into their room, leaving their fellow Jedi to occupy the room that Taash and Ryin had been put up in. Ryin staggered into the living area. "Go get a warm bath. Let your body relax in the water."

"Master Kieren wanted me to meditate with him after dinner."

"They have a busy day tomorrow and need their rest. You and I can do that after your bath. Do you want some hot tea when you get out?"

"No. My stomach hurts."

"You've been under a great deal of stress, sometimes that can do a number on a stomach."

Ryin accepted that and walked to the bathroom. It was twenty minutes later when he called out for the healer in a panicked voice. Terran hurried in to find the young Jedi half dressed and hanging his head over the toilet. He offered a soft hand on the boy's back, rubbing in slow circles to try and help ease the spasms that were ripping through the worn body.

Eventually they passed and he leaned back against the healer's knee panting deep breaths.

"You're okay, Ryin. I think you've worked yourself up with worry. How's your stomach now?"

"Feels a little better. Still feels sick though."

"Come on. Let's get you something for the nausea. We've got to relax those stomach muscles and then get you settled into bed. A good nights sleep can do wonders for the body."

A quick hypospray and a warm cup of tea later, Ryin was being tucked into bed. As much as he wanted to be with his master right now, he knew he needed sleep. He curled up on his side and let Terran cover him with a large blanket. "The drug I gave you will settle your stomach and make you sleepy. Don't fight it. I'm just in the other room if you need anything." A yawn was his only response. Followed soon after by the closing of heavy eyelids. Terran brushed a hand through the ginger hair. "Sleep well, Ryin."

The second surgery began just as scheduled, and ended three hours later. Ryin had been left alone in the waiting area at that time. Terran was assisting the doctors. Jarin and Master Yao had gone to meet with the mayor and continue the mission that was the reason the Jedi had been sent to Kellon

in the first place. Other patients, and their friends and families filed in and out of the room during those hours while Ryin sat by himself in the corner. At any other time, he would have been fascinated with watching these people and their interactions. But this wasn't any other time. And his thoughts could not help but drift back through the past hours and days.

He'd almost drifted off to sleep in the chair when there was a touch to his knee. Healer Terran.

"The surgery went well, Ryin. I think we got all of the metal fragments out and everything repaired that can be repaired. He's not out of the woods yet, but he's remained stable throughout this. That's a good sign."

The boy permitted himself a small smile as his blue eyes poured into the emerald ones of the healer. "Can I see him now?"

"Soon. Very soon."

"When do you think he'll be able to go home?"

"I'm not sure," Terran responded quietly. "I'd like to see him awake and at least aware before I put him on a ship for a day's travel. Hopefully in a couple days. He'll have a difficult recovery ahead of him as well. There is some nerve damage to his shoulder which could affect his ability to use his left hand until he regains coordination and strength in it. And the chest wounds, they will be slow in healing because of the deep cutting and bruising inside. His activities will be limited for some time."

"I will help him!" Ryin declared. "I will. Anything he needs, I can do it for him."

Terran chuckled softly. "I have no doubt in my mind that you will do wonders for him. But you have a hurdle to cross yourself. You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. You think that your failure to pay more attention to what the Force whispered to you is the cause of this. I can assure you that Taash is not going to want to hear that from you. If anything, he will accept fault for this."

"It's not his fault."

"Just like it's not yours. Understand?"

Ryin stared hard at the older Jedi before looking away. He couldn't shake the blame as easily as Terran wanted him to. He had been there. He had felt the darkness from the Force. He had seen his master fall seconds later because that darkness was not dealt with immediately. Nevertheless, he nodded in response to the question, without making eye contact.

It was two days before Taash opened his eyes. They were cloudy and confused. The room was quiet but for the familiar grey hair of the Jedi Healer. Taash forced a grunting noise to get the man's attention.

Turning towards the bed, Terran's face warmed to a smile and he approached the bed. "Welcome back. We've been worried about you. Don't try and talk." The healer decided to answer the questions he knew Taash wanted to ask before the Jedi attempted to do so himself through the tube that was assisting his breathing. "Things are okay. You were shot several times. We'll go into that once you are more coherent. Ryin is fine. Well, physically he's fine. He's unhurt. Although he's been very distraught about what happened. But don't worry about him. Master Yao and his apprentice have taken over the meetings with the political leaders. And there are police and Jedi working together to find out who did this to you. We got here a few days ago. I've been looking after Ryin."

A flood of relief washed through Taash's garbled mind when he'd heard that Ryin was unhurt. It was his first thought when he'd come back to consciousness. Everything else that Terran had said was lost to him. He was focused only on the name of his padawan. Silently, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

A few minutes later the footsteps of Ryin Cyr got Terran's attention.

"Ryin, you're supposed to be at the hotel sleeping. It's the middle of the night."

"I can't sleep. I tried everything that Master Qui-Gon and Master Taash taught me about using meditation to sleep, but I can't do it."

"So you haven't slept since the other evening when I gave you the drug to help."

"Only a few minutes. I'm sorry. I'm trying. I really am."

"It's okay. I've told you about how stress can worsen your insomnia. I don't want you exhausted, but I don't want you to have to rely on a drug to sleep either."

Ryin looked down, ashamed of what he still thought of sometimes as a weakness. "Maybe…maybe I'm not trying hard enough. It's just…"

"I know. This is not an easy time right now. We'll work through this. Listen, I have good news. Your master opened his eyes not long ago. He was only awake for a few minutes, but I let him know that you were okay. That's great sign, Ryin."

"Do you think he'll wake up again?" The boy asked as his voiced filled with hope and he came to his master's bedside.

"He might wake up again soon. But he might sleep through the night."

The boy was focused on the face of his teacher now. "Master…it's me. Ryin. Can you hear me? Healer Terran said you were awake. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I'm here now, Master." He took a firm hold of the larger hand. "I'm here, Master." He was momentarily startled when there came a return squeeze to his hand. Only a slight pressure, but enough to bring a huge grin to Ryin's face. "That's it, Master. I can feel your hand. You're going to be okay now."

It came as little surprise to the healer when Taash opened his eyes again at the encouragement of the padawan. The pair, though having only been together for two months, had already formed a solid and strong bond. And that the master responded to the boy's words did not come as a shock.

Ryin's ice blue eyes locked with the dark brown eyes of his master. "Hi, Master. I've missed you."

Taash's eyes smiled at the sight of his apprentice. And he gave a very small nod of his head in response.

"I'm so sorry this happened, Master. I know it's my fault. If I had only paid more attention to what the Force was telling me, this would never have happened. I didn't mean to fail you on our first mission. I'm sorry…"

The dark eyes squinted in confusion and then rolled to the left where the healer was still standing. He was asking for clarification.

Terran stepped around the bed to where Ryin was and put a hand on the small shoulder. "It's okay. Ryin, let's not stress him right now. Just be company for him until he's stronger. Taash, it's all right."

But the Master Jedi, despite his disoriented condition was not satisfied with that answer. He felt fear and panic from his student. He wanted more reassurance from the boy that he was indeed okay. He squeezed the hand that held his. Squeezed it as tight as he could to get Ryin's attention.

"Master…" he began to tell Taash again how sorry he was, but the soft hand on his shoulder became a firm grasp as the healer was directing him away from upsetting conversation. "I'm okay, Master. You need to focus on getting better. Not on me."

"Just relax and close your eyes for a while, Taash. Don't worry about Ryin. I'm here with him. I want you to rest now. We'll leave you for a bit so you can have quiet."

Ryin nodded. "I'll be back soon, Master."

Another few days passed and Taash continued to make small put positive steps. He seemed to not remember the conversation days ago where Ryin spoke of his failure and about taking the blame for what had happened to the older Jedi. And so the subject was not brought up, with Ryin agreeing to focus only on things that would be helpful to his master's recovery. For now, he was happy to do whatever he could to get Taash well enough to go home. Since Taash was limited in his movement, his left and predominant hand being virtually useless, and his chest firing up in pain with any small motion, he was grateful to accept any assistance he could find. He was talking now, but the wounds to his chest caused him to speak in abbreviated sentences as he lost his breath quite easily.

"How are the meetings…going?" Taash asked between small spoonfuls of soup.

Ryin was holding the small soup cup as the master awkwardly fed himself with his right hand. "Jarin and Master Yao were here earlier when you were asleep. They said that everything is going well. And that they might be wrapped up in time to fly home with us when we leave tomorrow."

Pleased to hear the good news, the second half of what the padawan said was new information to Taash. "Leave…tomorrow?"

"Yes, Master. Healer Terran and the Doctor Isatas agreed that you were well enough to travel. We are going home tomorrow evening."

Taash wondered why Ryin hadn't smiled when he told him this. Then he began trying to remember the past days since he'd woken up. He didn't recall seeing many smiles at all. Studying the boy's face he saw the dark circles under the fatigued eyes. He put the spoon down and touched the small hand. "You're…not sleeping. Insomnia acting up again?"

"Yes, Master. I had been doing so well with it before…this. Now, it's controlling me again. I'm sorry. I've been trying."

"Did you ask Terran for help?"

"He's given me a drug to help me a couple of times. But he doesn't want me to rely on that. It makes me feel funny when I wake up."

"You told him this?"

"No."

Taash moved his hand to cover Ryin's. "Are you okay?"

He grunted in reply. "You're the one that's hurt, Master. I'm fine."

"Don't lie to your master."

"I don't…can't we talk about something else?"

"About why…you don't smile anymore?"

Ryin withdrew his hand from the grasp of his teacher and set the soup cup down on the bedside table. "I'm just worried about you, Master. I thought you were going to die. I didn't think I'd ever get to talk to you again. I was scared. I'm still scared."

"It's okay to be scared. It's only your first mission. Normal. It's all right now though. We'll be…okay." The effort that was being put forth to carry on a conversation for so long was exhausting Taash. But he was worried about his apprentice. Terran had said he was fine physically. Yet, there was something there. Something bothering him that he wouldn't or couldn't talk about. Perhaps once they got home to Coruscant, back to familiar surroundings… His thoughts faded as his eyes began to falter. "Tired…"

"You should rest, Master."

"Yes…thank you, Ryin…" Eyes closed and the tension released from his body as Taash slipped into unconsciousness.

Taash was carefully moved on to the ship the next evening. Once he was comfortable, the other Jedi boarded and prepared to set course for Coruscant. Negotiations had been wrapped up and a formal agreement between political parties of Kellon had been reached. Because of that, Kieren and Jarin would be accompanying the others on the trip. Left behind were the three members of the Jedi security team who were still working on the shooting investigation.

Not far from where the ship stood on the landing strip, a figure stopped to watch the Jedi walking the ramp. Most notably, he eyed the one on the floating bed. His victim. He berated himself for allowing this one to live. The second time in a row that he'd missed the opportunity to wound and then finish off a Jedi. Then he thought about the Jedi left behind. Those investigating what he'd done. But he'd not dare make another attempt on a Jedi just yet. And never two consecutive attempts on one planet. He would have to travel and then wait for another opportunity to arise. Patience…he must have patience…

The flight home was uneventful and quiet. Taash slept most of the trip, but when he was awake he worried about his apprentice who was still not sleeping. And not anywhere close to the happy and curious boy that Taash had come to know so well in the past months. His concern grew each time that Ryin came to visit with him and soon he would confront the boy on his solemn mood. It was more than just him being scared and worried about what had happened to his master. For now though, he'd concentrate on giving his body the rest it needed.

Coruscant loomed in the distance. The city planet was always busy, even in the middle of the night. Freighters and ships of all shapes and sizes passed by the colorfully lit skyscrapers that represented the heart of the planet near the Jedi Temple. Taash, from his bed, watched his padawan who sat close by gazing out the window. If he felt it necessary, he could use their bond to look into the boy's feelings. But an effort like that was sure to tire him and he didn't want to be one of those masters who invaded the thoughts of their apprentice without good reason. So he left him to himself as he felt the ship's speed slow and the descent begin.

Ryin flanked the float bed as the small group of Jedi moved off the ship. While Master Yao and his apprentice headed for their own quarters, Terran was taking his patient to the hospital where he would spend several days. Taash had been hoping he could return to his apartment, but wasn't surprised with the healer's plan. He knew it was for the best.

They settled into a quiet room, thankfully Taash thought, with a window. Once he was comfortable on the larger bed, he instructed his apprentice to return to their quarters. It was late. The boy needed to at least attempt sleep.

"Ryin, go home. Rest."

"Are you sure, Master? I don't mind staying to help you."

"I just want to sleep. You should as well. Breakfast…tomorrow. You know," he took in a deep, painful breath, "how much I love hospital food." Taash waited for a smile. One was not returned. "It's okay, Ryin. I'll be okay."

The padawan turned from his master and walked out of the room. Taash could have sworn that he'd seen water in those young eyes. Maybe the stress and pressure of all that's taken place in the last week has just worn him down and overwhelmed him. My injuries. Little sleep. So much put on him on just our first mission. I hope that's all it is.

The sun broke brilliantly across the sky the next morning, waking Taash early. He was surprised to see Ryin in a restless sleep in the chair by the window, curled in the most awkward of positions. But at least he was sleeping. He needed that.

Terran wandered in not long after to check up on his patient who lay half propped up on two pillows. "Good morning. I see he ended up here anyway, after you sent him home," he said as he nodded towards the padawan.

"Something's wrong, Terran. He's…different. He's…sad."

The healer had been careful not to burden Taash with any unnecessary stress while he was in the initial stages of his recovery. But now, since they were home and moving forward, the master did need to know what was going on with his apprentice. He glanced over at the still sleeping boy and then back to Taash. "He's punishing himself for what happened to you. Taking all the blame and guilt for your injuries. His failure. The first mission and he let you get hurt. He almost lost you. The Force spoke to him before the gunshots began. It told him something was wrong. That was his warning and he failed to act on it. As a result, you were shot. Almost killed the first time the two of you ventured away from the temple."

Taash sighed and let his head fall back against the pillows. "Not his fault…he didn't fail me. It just happened."

"I know that and you know that. But for a ten-year-old on his first mission with his new master…no matter how well they seem to do during practice sessions and in the classroom, it's a different world out there. And he was thrown into the cruelness of it. He's been taking this very hard, Taash. It's the biggest part of what's contributing to his insomnia right now. The built up stress, he has himself so worked up at times with guilt that he can't focus on anything else. It's too much for a boy his age to be taking on. Jedi or not."

"I need to talk to him."

"Yes. And despite his confused feelings and lack of sleep he's handled himself very well throughout this entire episode. After you were shot, he contacted the correct people, he continued with his duty with the help of his paramedic friend. And he did what he could to help and comfort you. You should be very proud of him for that."

"I am."

Their conversation was brought to a halt when Ryin stirred in the chair and opened his tired eyes. He uncurled himself and moved immediately to Taash's side. "Hi, Master. How are you feeling?"

"Tired, Padawan. Very tired. It's still exhausting to talk for too long. I'm glad you were able to get some sleep. Even if it wasn't in your own bed." He winked at the boy to let him know he was teasing and Ryin only nodded silently. "I need to talk to you, Ryin."

The healer broke in. "Taash, why don't we wait a bit for that? I need to check your bandages and have you eat a little something. And I think Ryin also needs to get some breakfast. In fact, I know a couple of people who are waiting outside for just that purpose."

As if on cue, the door to the hospital room opened and Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan walked in. Taash smiled as Obi-Wan approached the bed and took his friends outstretched hand. His good hand.

"Obi-Wan. It's good to see you."

"It's better to see you. We feared the worst when Ryin originally told us what happened. How are you?"

"Sore and tired. Nothing like headaches and chest pain to wake you up in the morning. My left arm is pretty useless right now though. Therapy."

"Yeah, well, you'd better listen to the healers. If you don't they'll keep you in here for months. And watch out for that therapist, Jyl Paresh. She's good, but stern. You can't get away with anything under her charge." Obi-Wan grinned as he moved aside for Qui-Gon to get closer.

"Any word on the investigation as to who did this?"

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No leads. They are however planning on comparing this shooting to several others on various planets. Including Larus II where Obi-Wan had been shot. Maybe there's some commonalities between these cases. Nothing solid though. But anything more on that can wait until you are well. Leave that to the investigators ." The big master then put an arm around Ryin. "You need anything, Taash? Anything we can do for you?"

Taash was warmed at the caring of his friends. "I'm okay for now. But Ryin could use some breakfast. If you wouldn't mind?"

"That's why we're here," Qui-Gon said as he patted Ryin on the shoulder. "Shall we go?"

Obi-Wan gave one last squeeze to his friend's hand. "We'll look after him. Call us if you need anything."

"Thanks, Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon. Ryin, this afternoon, we'll talk."

"Yes, Master." On impulse, the boy leaned down and gave his teacher a gentle hug. Taash took his good arm and returned the embrace.

A moment later, Terran re-entered the room and announced, "Okay, social time is over. He's mine now. Everybody out!" And playful smile towards Ryin and then the healer pushed them all out the door.

Ryin thought he would be following Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to the dining hall for breakfast. The older Jedi had other ideas. "Master Qui-Gon, where are we going?"

"To see a very good friend of mine who runs a diner not too far from here. You'll like him. I introduced Obi-Wan to him when he was younger. And Terran told me that you needed some time away from things. You've had a rough first mission and you need to unwind a bit. You'll enjoy this. Trust me. And you'll want to come back." Qui-Gon exchanged looks like his own padawan and gave him a wink. Obi-Wan nodded and grinned as they loaded into a speeder and lifted off.

"Dex's Diner? I've never heard of this place." Ryin looked up at the sign above the entrance. "Are you sure it's good? It looks kind of…"

Obi-Wan chimed in to finish his sentence. "Run down? I said the same thing the first time I came here. It looks a bit tired, but appearances can be deceiving. Come on."

Upon entering the diner, the waitress recognized the familiar faces and quickly began clearing a table for them, while shouting out to Dex in the kitchen. "Friends of yours to see ya, hon!"

A few minutes later, the large and imposing figure of Dexter Jettser rumbled through the kitchen door. His four arms held up in surprise as he saw the familiar faces of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. He moved forward to greet them with his usual and jovial hugs.

"Good to see you again, Dex." Qui-Gon said. "I've missed this place."

"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten about me, Qui-Gon." The big man jibed. "Obi-Wan was here a few months ago with some friends of his." He paused as he glanced downward to the ginger-haired boy who was a step behind Kenobi. "Who's the young one?"

Obi-Wan smiled and encouraged Ryin to take a step forward. "This is Ryin Cyr. When I was here previously, I brought a Jedi named Taash Evram with me. You remember him. This is Taash's apprentice."

"Oh? The one he was talking about? Well, it's good to meet you Ryin." He knelt down and gave the boy a two-armed hug. "Why is it that he's with you, Obi-Wan?"

"Taash is recovering from wounds suffered on a mission. And we thought that Ryin might use some time away from the stuffiness of the hospital."

Dex stood and ran a hand over his facial stubble. "Hospitals are stuffy places. But I am sure they are taking good care of your master, Ryin. And a friend of these guys, is a friend of mine. Have a seat and I'll cook up the house special for you."

Qui-Gon laughed as Dex retreated to the kitchen. "I promise you, Ryin, you'll have a friend for life in Dex. And the food's not half bad either."

The food appeared not long after and Ryin dug in. He hadn't realized how hungry he was. After his master had been shot, and in the days since, his appetite had been almost non-existent. And despite the guilt he still felt, his stomach could wait no longer to be fed properly. The two older Jedi were careful to keep conversation neutral, trying to focus on positive things, but they both sensed the conflicting feelings in the boy. And even without inquiring about them, they knew of his doubts and fears of failure. Obi-Wan especially. His early years with Qui-Gon were filled with needing to do everything he could to please his master. To make him know that he was worthy of being his apprentice. To live up to the reputation that was Qui-Gon Jinn. Yes, Obi-Wan knew what Ryin was feeling all too well. So he could sympathize with him and understand what the boy was putting himself through. But it wasn't his place to interfere. This was a situation that Ryin and Taash would have to work out. Ryin needed the counseling and reassurance of his master.

"Good?" Obi-Wan asked to break the few moments of silence that has fallen on the small group.

Ryin looked up from his plate and nodded. "Yes. Very good. Can we get something for Master Taash?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "I think he'd enjoy that."

They ordered a large bowl of soup to go, while they were finishing up their meals. Dex hated to see them leave, and attempted to con them into dessert. He succeeded in sending them home with four chocolate cream cakes. That was closely followed by a round of hugs and promises to return soon.

With breakfast over, they decided to take a short walk before returning to the temple. Looking up at the two taller Jedi on either side of him, Ryin remembered something. The stones. The ones he'd gotten on Kellon before the accident. They were still in his belt pouch. Forgotten until now. He reached his small hand into the pouch to retrieve them. "Master Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan?"

Both men turned back to where he had stopped.

"I forgot to give you these." In each hand the boy held a small black and green rock that glittered as it's smooth surface met the bright sunlight. Green flickering to blue as they moved slightly in the young hands. "The night that Master Taash was hurt, before it happened, I bought these for you." He took a short step towards the two taller Jedi and placed the small gifts in their hands. "I wanted to do something to say thank you for helping me since I've become a padawan. And for being good friends for my master. Sometimes, I think he's lonely. He misses his master. I know how much he likes you both. You're important to him, especially when he feels alone."

Overwhelmed, not only by the gift, but also by the admission from the apprentice about Taash, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan were struck speechless for a moment. They both knew the continued pain that Taash still felt at times where his dead master was concerned. The pair had been one of more closely bonded master and padawan teams in the temple, and since the death of his mentor, Taash had never completely been able to put the past behind him. At times, he would just wish to be alone. Away from everyone and everything to reflect and remember. Ryin called those his lonely times and he would wait patiently for Taash as painful and pleasant memories flooded his teacher's mind.

Obi-Wan has suspected that Taash still pained at the memories of his old master, but his friend had never discussed or admitted his loneliness as the years had passed. In only two short months, Ryin had come to know Taash very well. And to respect those so-called lonely times. "Ryin, thank you for the gifts. It's kind of you to think about us. And we are very grateful to have a friend like Taash. He's a good person. I know you have been and will be a good apprentice for him. He needs you."

Unable to stop the words, Ryin blurted out the one thing that had been knowing at his conscious since the accident. "He doesn't need an apprentice who fails to protect him on his first mission. One who couldn't prevent this from happening. He needs a strong apprentice. One who will know when there is trouble near. One who will protect him and not…let him down." The icy blue eyes fell downward and Ryin stepped back toward the closest building and leaned heavily on it. The Jedi in front of him were quickly at his side. Qui-Gon knelt down.

"Ryin, who told you that you failed?"

"No one needed to tell me. I know I did. I sensed…something. But I didn't do anything about it. If I had, Master Taash would never have been shot and almost killed."

"We all sense certain things that we perceive as being a threat. But you can't act on something that you can't see. You can only prepare for whatever might happen."

"I should have done more. I should…"

"Did you tell Taash that you felt something?"

The boy nodded mutely.

"And what did he say?"

"He said that I should pay attention to feelings that I get. And he wanted me to mediate on what I had sensed. We were going back to the hotel to do that…and then…"

"You did just what you were supposed to do. Just what Obi-Wan and I would do. You were aware of an odd feeling and you let Taash know. Meditation would be the next step to try and find out more about that feeling. You didn't know anything was eminent. Don't blame yourself for what you can't control, Ryin."

The young Jedi said nothing as he looked between Jinn and Kenobi. Qui-Gon again felt the exhaustion from him. "How is your insomnia since this began?"

"Not good. I can't sleep very well. I try. I've tried everything that you taught me, Master Qui-Gon."

"But your feelings of failure are in the way."

"Yes," he said shyly.

"I think you and Taash need to talk. It's the only way that you are going to get settled and understand that he doesn't fault you for what happened on Kellon."

"Master…" Obi-Wan noticed a small crowd that was standing a few yards from them, watching and listening. "Perhaps we should…"

"Ah, yes, Obi-Wan. Lets move our show elsewhere." He stood up and put a hand on Ryin's shoulder to direct him away from the onlookers and back to the transport that would return them to the temple. In his other hand, he held the stone that the boy had given him moments ago. A change of subject was needed. "I do like this stone, Ryin. I don't think I've ever seen one quite like this that changes colors when the light reflects off of it. Beautiful. Thank you."

"I thought of you and Obi-Wan as soon as I saw those in the store. They reminded me of you for some reason. I don't know why. I guess that's silly, isn't it?"

"Not at all. Nothing given with the heart is ever silly. And I know the perfect place to display mine so that everyone who enters my quarters will be able to see it and enjoy its beauty."

Ryin half-blushed and grinned slightly. "Thank you, Master Qui-Gon."

When they returned to the hospital, Taash was sound asleep. Qui-Gon decided that sleep was a good idea for the small ginger-haired padawan beside him. Ryin hurried in and out of Taash's room. He was there just long enough to squeeze his hand and whisper a few words to him before leaving with Qui-Gon again.

"Where are we going, Master Qui-Gon?"

"To our apartment. Taash is sleeping. You need to sleep. Terran will let me know when Taash wakes. Until then, you are going to rest. I know Force suggestions are sometimes resisted by your insomnia, but I think that right now you are exhausted enough that with a bit of assistance from the Force, it won't take long for you to settle into a good, solid sleep. You can borrow Obi-Wan's bed."

Ryin just now noticed that Obi-Wan was no longer with them. "Where is Obi-Wan?"

"He has some research to do for a possible mission that we might be leaving for next week. I think he'll be buried in the archives for several hours. Come on."

It took only seconds and a slight suggestion form the Force, and Ryin was out cold. He had curled himself into the large blanket on Obi-Wan's bed. Qui-Gon made sure to cover the small body so that there was no danger of chills waking him from his sleep. It was only mid-morning, but Ryin was sleeping as soundly as he had in a long time.

Several hours later, Qui-Gon's comm-link chirped. It was Terran passing word that Taash was awake and asking to see his padawan. Qui-Gon woke Ryin gently and walked with him to the young master's room. Taash was awake, but tired. He smiled when Ryin and Qui-Gon entered.

"Thank you, Qui-Gon for looking after him this morning. I appreciate it."

"We had a good breakfast. Met Dex. And he even got in a few hours of sleep." Qui-Gon made a point not to being up the discussion they had had about failure. He knew it was not his place to interfere any further.

"Thank you," Taash replied sincerely.

"I'll stop in later." Qui-Gon disappeared from view as he left the room and rounded the corner.

Taash held a hand out for his apprentice. Quickly, Ryin walked to his side and took the outstretched hand. "Hi, Master. I brought you some soup from Dex's Diner."

"Ah, you are a gem, Ryin. Thank you. Do you have any idea how bad this hospital soup is?"

"Not very good."

"No. Did you meet Dex?"

"Yes. I like him, Master."

"Obi-Wan introduced me to Dex a while back. I've been meaning to take you there. So, now we'll have to go back when I am better. Sometime before our next mission."

Ryin looked away and pulled his hand from Taash's grasp. "I don't…you still want me to go on missions with you?"

"Of course, I do." Startled at the boy's reaction, but not completely surprised, Taash knew he'd hit a nerve with his padawan. The reason Ryin's mood had been so somber lately. "Why wouldn't I want you with me on missions? You are my apprentice. Your place is with me. At my side."

"You got hurt because of me. Because I didn't pay closer attention to what I felt in the Force. I almost got you killed, Master. Next time it could be worse. What if I fail again. What if…"

"You will fail at some things, Ryin. Everyone does. But you did not fail at this mission. Not in anyway. You felt something. You told me. We were both warned. But with nothing specific we had no way to know where or when the evil might come from. And we could not hide from what might be a threat. From what Terran told me, you did everything right after this happened. I know there was a paramedic who helped you. It was good that you reached out and allowed someone to be there for you, Padawan. And you called home to Coruscant and spoke with the council and with Obi-Wan. The parties on Kellon were notified. You did very well, Ryin. In a way, this was more a test for you than a regular mission would have been. You were challenged. And although you stumbled slightly, you succeeded, despite your own feelings and emotions and not knowing what would happen with me. I'm very proud of you." Taash stopped to catch his breath. He reached out again to grab for the boy's hand.

Ryin finally looked up and caught his teacher's eyes. There was no recrimination there. Only kindness and encouragement. But still the feelings of failure penetrated the young mind. "But if I had paid more attention to the Force. Asked more of it before I told you, maybe I could have seen more. Maybe I could have stopped this. I won't ever do that again, Master. The next time, I will focus on it and make sure that nothing happens to you."

Taash sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Ryin listen to me. I don't want you to do anything differently. I want you to react the same way should you get a dark feeling in the future. If, at that moment you had stopped to focus only on that. And you'd lost track of all else going on around you, what else might have happened? Perhaps you might have become a target. Or whoever did this might have gotten a better shot at me. Others on the street could have been targeted. You must be aware of all that goes on around you. Open all of your senses. Do not let one specific thing distract you when you need to be aware. Do you understand?"

"I'm sorry, Master."

"Don't be sorry, Padawan. You have no reason to be. This has been bothering you since this began. This is the reason that you don't smile anymore. Because all this time you've felt as if you've failed me. Your first mission and your master gets shot. What could you have done to prevent it? Why didn't you do those things? Are you really worthy to be an apprentice when you can't protect your master from the evil that seeks to harm us? You've been turning this over and over in your mind for a long time now."

"Yes." The reply was almost a whisper.

"Then I believe we have an area to work on with you. Something that Obi-Wan told me about. He had problems like this when he was younger and was trying to live up to the expectations that he thought that Qui-Gon had of him. Self-confidence, Ryin. Don't be afraid to fail. Because it will happen. Be confident in your actions, no matter what the circumstances. If you know in your heart that what you are doing is right, even if the outcome is something like what happened to me, then there is no failure on your part. As long as you try your best, even if you fail in your attempt, I will never be disappointed in you. Never. As I am not disappointed in you now." He took a tighter hold of the small hand. "Ryin, you've only been a padawan for two months. There is an entire galaxy of learning out there for you. There are many failures out there. And many successes. For both of us. It's been a difficult beginning, but you've shown me a great deal about what kind of Jedi Knight you will become. I'm not sorry that I choose you as my apprentice. This first challenge only proves to me that I did indeed make the correct decision. Now there is one thing that I want from you."

"Yes, Master?" Ryin was still so unsure as he stood there next to Taash's bed, his hand locked in the larger one of his teacher.

Taash grinned. "I want to see you smile. I've grown fond of that smile of yours and I haven't seen it for a while. I know you're still sorting all of this out in your mind, but I want you to be happy working with me. I want our relationship to be a close one. Like I had with my old master. It can't be like that unless you start smiling again." He tilted his head and arched his eyebrows up and down several times, looking to try and get the boy's face to crack.

And it did. Ryin let out a short laugh and the corners of his mouth turned upwards.

"Ah, that's the Ryin I know."

"Thank you, Master," he replied shyly. "Master…"

"Yes, Padawan?"

"I want us to be close too. Like you and Master Kem were. I know how much you still miss him. And I know how lonely you get sometimes when you need someone to talk to and you wish he was still here. You…you don't have to be lonely anymore, Master."

The older Jedi smiled sadly at the flash of painful memory when Master Kem's name was mentioned. The sincerity in Ryin's voice coupled with the ache he still felt at the loss, hit him hard. He'd always tried to fight those feeling of loneliness, but was rarely successful. And he hadn't given much thought to the idea of his padawan filling in those gaps left by his dead master. Until now. "I don't want to be lonely, Ryin. But at times, I do get that way. Can you help me with that? Keep me company when I do get lonely and caught up in memories of my master?"

Ryin nodded quickly. "You can help me with my self-confidence. I can help you feel less lonely. It hurts me when I see you like that, Master."

Taash had to take a couple deep breaths to keep from losing his composure. But still a silent tear trekked down his cheek. "It hurts to be like that, Padawan."

"Can you tell me about Master Kem? I remember you told me that you would share stories about him. I'd like to hear about him. He must have been somebody very special."

"He was, Ryin. He was very special to me." A short pause as another tear caressed his cheek. "Just like you are."

"Can you tell me about when you first became his padawan? What it felt like? How you and he got along?"

"I sure can." Taash carefully inched over on the bed and then patted the blanket beside him with his good hand. He grimaced at the pain in his chest and shoulder as he made the awkward motions, but the discomfort he could deal with for the time being. Right now, he needed to focus on his padawan. "Sit here next to me. I think in the coming days you and I will have plenty of time to talk about things. And I have many stories to share, if you'd like to hear them. I can even tell you about the times when I had my own feelings of failure. And what Master Kem did and said to help me grow and gain in self-confidence."

The boy smiled broadly as he climbed onto the bed and sat with his legs crossed and back leaning against an extra pillow. Taash took a deep, slow breath and then laughed quietly. He could feel the change in Ryin. Somberness being replaced with contentment. They reached out to each other at almost the same time, the link becoming stronger and forging them closer together so that each could help the other in their personal battles. Ryin listened with rapt attention to the stories as the pair ignored pain and exhaustion and focused on each other.

That was what was most important at this moment.

Stories of the past would lead to lessons for the future. And in the process, they would strengthen the bond and the friendship shared between master and apprentice.

END

27


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